Connoisseur









These are not only a few of my favorite things, but also Wilhelm's. In keeping with his taste at the age of 2 weeks (see Rock'n'roll baby, June 2006), he is a great connoisseur of music, demanding "muckes" or, starting today, "music", whenever we enter the kitchen or living room, our prime music rooms. Of course, I ask what he'd like to hear, maybe the Beatles? "Beatles, ja" he says. How about Belle and Sebastian? "Still blue" he says, reciting the lyrics of The Blues are Still Blue, one of his Belle and Sebastian favorites. (I am not exaggerating, he really recites that song.) Then I suggest Sufjan: "SUF-jan!" he says. "Ja! SUF-jan!" So I guess that's what we'll play. Then the whole thing continues. We don't just listen to the music, Wilhelm then goes to the speakers and greets the music, saying "Ooooh! Muckes!" then comes to me, hugs my leg, and pleads "Dance!" Well, what can I do? I pick him up and we dance. Then he looks deep into my eyes and says "Sing!" This could go on for a good hour or more. And I can't really complain, the kid has good taste.

In search of the illusive fashion herb















We went to Polenztal in the Sächsische Schweiz yesterday, braving rain and cold in search of the very fashionable Bärlauch, aka wild garlic. This time of year you can get rolls with wild garlic, cheese with wild garlic, every foodstuff you can possibly imagine, all with wild garlic!! This has only been going on for the last couple years, as far as I can remember. Supposedly, it tastes like a mild garlic (which it does) but doesn't stink like garlic (which I contest, as do some of my students). You can see it above, that lovely long leaf in the middle. At least that looks like it. You see, wild garlic has a wicked little Doppelgänger, the pretty and highly poisonous lily of the valley. Last year at the same time we had to throw away a whole bag of leaves that looked like wild garlic because I also picked a whole bunch of lily of the valley leaves. Oops. So what we did this year, which is probably pretty forbidden, was dig up a couple of the little guys and plant them on the balcony to see what they turn into - lilies or Lauch? We already had some wild garlic, but with our lovely German weather this spring, it started growing and then got frozen.
What we did get yesterday and eat was a whole bag full of watercress. My in-house chef turned it into a delicious salad with endives and some homemade dressing. It tasted good, but if I die suddenly, you'll know he didn't clean it well enough and I got a fox tapeworm. My life is so adventurous!















I stayed out of the herb collecting this time around, what with my massive failure last year, and hung out, looked after the kid, and took pictures of the scenery, asking myself the whole time: "Why did we bother going to Gomera for Christmas when we can see all this cool moss and rainy forest scenery right here practically in our back yard, with way easier trails?"




















Everything was so green!




















And so fantastically mossy!















Then we got stalked by some ducks. I think they had rabies.















We were even lucky enough to see this precious little doc hopper.
By the time doc hopper hopped along, I was getting hungry and moody, because I hadn't expected the herb collecting to be so successful and thus take so long. But all the waiting and picture taking (...without my regular camera, because I thought it was broken. It turns out I just forgot how to use all of the settings. The frog pictures could have been so much better...) paid off! We went to the Czech Republic, to Decin, a super beautiful city on the Elbe River with big supermarkets that are open on Sunday and are full of delicious exotic sweets we don't know in Germany and can't pronounce in Czech!

Last Weekend's Adventure




















Stop! Only beavers are allowed down this trail! But I guess I'm allowed, since I am from Beaverton...

Last weekend we attempted to visit the beavers in the Dübener Heide. I say attempted because they are very elusive little guys, only emerging from their dams in twilight. We thought maybe we heard some after waiting around for nearly an hour in what we thought to be the twilight, but we sure didn't see any beavers. The only beaver we saw was on this sign. Though we did see some funny beaver traces, as you can see below. Or maybe these were also made by the park rangers to give the illusion of there actually being some beavers around.





















Hey! It didn't fall down! I bet the beavers were confused when this fencepost didn't fall over.

I have to admit, I was a little disappointed in the Dübener Heide, because it was very flat with not-so-exciting scenery. I think it's worth the trip if you actually get to see some beavers, but otherwise I'm not so sure... My husband said the best part of the Dübener Heide is Wittenberg, where we stayed on Saturday night. I was really impressed with Wittenberg, this is a very beautiful small city where you get American-style portions of food at prices which seem cheap compared to Dresden. And the food is really good. And even our three star hotel was very nice, clean with a very friendly staff and a good breakfast. We were wary of three star hotels following our three star experience in Berlin, which was not so good. It wouldn't have surprised me to find some body outlines on the floor of the hotel where we stayed in Berlin, if you know what I mean.

Anyway, on to Wittenberg. This is where the reformer Martin Luther lived and nailed his 95 theses to the door of the Schlosskirche. Unfortunately, the Schlosskirche to which he nailed his theses burned down, but you can see a door embossed with the theses at the same location. You can also climb the tower of the church for just 2 Euro to get a great view of the city.




















Schlosskirche tower















The roof of the Schlosskirche.

Wittenberg is full of Martin Luther stuff, since he is the city's biggest claim to fame. You can see his house, the church where he preached, his pulpit and all that kind of stuff. The city's other, newer claim to fame is the high school which was redesigned by Friedensreich Hundertwasser, that crazy Austrian architect. This colorful assymetrical school is a refreshing change of scenery after looking at lots of historical buildings and churches and cozy courtyards. This school was originally a pre-fab building put up in the GDR times, and there were lots of other schools around that looked exactly the same. The students had the idea to ask Hundertwasser to redesign their school in the 90s, and he did it free of charge. Below are some pictures.
































































Finally, to top it all off, we visited Gräfenhainichen, where there is a "City of Iron": Ferropolis. This is a display of old coal mining machines, also from GDR times, and boy are they big.




























If you look closely, you can see some people in the pictures, so you can get an idea how big these things are. You could go on the second one and have a look around, and I felt like I was going to puke. I'm a little afraid of heights, and it was windy up there. Unfortunately, this place could have given some more information for people like me who don't know so much about coal mining. It's neat to see the machines, but I'd like to know more about the whole situation and what the mines looked like and all that sort of jazz. Oh well, it was the end of the day and we were tired anyway.

My Easter Report

These are my real live German Easter eggs, colored myself, using wax and egg colors. A painstaking process, inspired by the Lower Lusatian tradition and my mother-in-law.

Finally I have something interesting to write about, something with substance: not just my boring neighbors or my swearing kid, though I could write more about them, but a fun and varied weekend.

Since we had a four day weekend for Easter, we decided to use it wisely with as much fun activity as possible. First, on Good Friday, we decided to use the weather which appeared to be good to go to a labyrinth near Bautzen. When we departed from Dresden, it had just started to rain, and when we arrived at the labyrinth, everything was muddy and it was still raining. Quick change of plans. We decided to go to Bautzen and get some food, look at the city, and hope the weather would improve. In Bautzen we were adventurous and tried Sorbian food, which seems pretty similar to German food, but in a funky traditional atmosphere. Below you can see the window in the restaurant.

The waitresses were also dressed in traditional clothes as shown in the window, and this fascinated not only me, but Wilhelm as well. He loved the waitresses. And the food. There was a wedding meal, consisting of meat (beef, I think, it wasn't mine) with horseradish sauce, potatoes with parsley and salad, and I had potatoes with quark and linseed oil and a big delicious salad. Mmm.

Then we looked at the city, which is quite charming. The historic center is just full of narrow meandering alleys and beautiful old houses. There's also a castle, a neat church ruin where beggars used to live and where later a water tower was built right into the ruin, and now there appears to be a house built into the ruin. The skyline is amazing because the landscape is a bit hilly, so the city looms on top of a hill with lots of towers and attractive buildings.

Bautzen's skyline

Where there are old houses, they may fall in. So just support them against each other!

Finally, we decided to venture back to the labyrinth, because the weather cooperated and got better. In the end because of mud in the labyrinth we went to the neighboring Saurierpark (Dinosaur Park) , of which I was rather apprehensive. I thought maybe it was just some sort of lame tourist trap. And at first glance, it seemed to be just that. Flashy displays and info-signs, a computer animated dinosaur movie, and lots of playground equipment for the kids. But then we got to the really interesting part, namely the part where it all started: in some guy's private garden. This guy was Franz Gruss, a trained artist, and he started sculpting dinosaurs in his garden in 1978, and he just couldn't stop. Later he was allowed to put some sculptures in the forest neighboring his garden, and this developed into what is now the Saurierpark. But the garden, I can't even describe how fantastic it is. It is absolutely brimming with sculptures of monkey-like people hunting wooly mammoths and eating the innards of their prey, landscapes with cliffs from which these monkey people are stalking their prey, and even some little artistic adventures, like a UFO and aliens, and a sculpture of what a dinosaur which had evolved to be somewhat human-like might have looked like. I highly, highly recommend this place, and recommend starting at the back, at the garden, because it is so full of sculptures that you can't really take it all in after spending the greater part of your time in the main park. Below are some pictures.

Above you can see the dinosaur-turned-man

Here are the aliens in the garden.

These guys are probably my favorites: I really like the tension you can see in the faces of the small monkey-people in back as they look at these Planet of the Apes-like guys in front of them,
thinking "Oh shit! Should I throw the rock? Should I spear him with my stick? What if they turn around?" And the big guys have these looks on their faces like, "Wow, my head is really big, but my brain is just so tiny. I don't even know if I can pick up that rock. I'm so confused."

Another bonus of the lifesize dinosaur sculptures: some of them have their mouths open, which really lends itself to placing a small child into said mouths. Wilhelm seems to still be processing this, because when he's playing by himself, I still hear him talking about dinosaurs over a week later. Hehehe.

The rest of the weekend was also nice. We grilled on the balcony and had a whole bunch of people over, once again throwing together some very funny combinations of our friends, had dinner with the fam in the Ore Mountains where there was still at least a foot of snow and counting, did some cleaning on Easter Monday and finally had some coffee and cake with friends to top it all off. But I think for me, Easter will now always have some connection with dinosaurs. Probably for Wilhelm too, since he was in at least 3 dinosaurs' mouths this Easter weekend...That can't be too easy to forget!

How did I get such a profane child?

I'm sure my mom is reading this right now and thinking "You're surprised your child is profane?", and really, she's probably right. I recall sitting in the backseat of the car on one of our many marathon car trips as a child and being thrilled to see graffiti that said things like "Eat me like a taco", which soon became one of my favorite sayings, and telling my parents in response to something they said "That's nice, and I don't mean the nice nice, I mean the smartass nice." just to be sure they knew what I meant. I guess I'm not surprised that my 21-month-old swears, I'm more impressed with his amazing accuracy.

You see, every time, really every time, I drop something or he breaks a glass or I stumble or whatever, he says "oh, man!"*, "Scheisse"**, or "F*!K"*, depending on the gravity of the situation. It's really amazing, and no matter how often I tell him that only white trash and Asis (German for trash, more or less) use those words and that people will think he's just that when he says it, he persists in his use of such expressions. The trouble is, most of the time, he says exactly what I feel. Often, I could really just say "You're exactly right" when he swears, but I feel it's not appropriate, because a child who is not yet two should not be using these words. I'm not perfect, I use words of this caliber as well, but mostly in appropriate situations, and not usually in public, because, as I always tell Wilhelm, only trash does this. The main battle is now not to get him to forget these words, because I am sure that they are burned into his memory by now, but to get him to use them at appropriate times.

*he did not learn this from me
**he learned this from me

Office Space

In one of my classes we started watching the movie Office Space last week, and I just found some funny things regarding this film. For example, a 30 second version of the film reenacted by bunnies here.

You can buy gear like they have in the Initech office here and here.

There's even a quiz with 100 questions about the film here.

Here you can take a quiz to find out which Office Space character you are. (I am the Bobs, those consultants who come to Initech to fire people...)

By the way, it's called Alles Routine in German.

I love new wave!



I hope you can see this video, if not maybe you have some issues with Java or Flash players or something like that. I don't know if you'll have the same reaction, but mine was some mix of "WTF??" and being proud of Ron and Rob's great work in a sort of teacher/mom way. Hmm.

More stellar sayings of 2007

It's been a reflective beginning of the year for me, and I've realized that I forgot some great sayings of 2007 in my "Year in Review" post from January. So here's some more...

Summer 2007

"Habt ihr euch eigentlich überlegt, was es für die Nachbarn oben bedeutet, wenn ihr auf eurem Balkon grillt?" (Have you actually thought about what it means for the neighbors upstairs when you grill on your balcony?) -Well, no, and to be honest, we don't really care. And this neighbor didn't do himself a favor with his well thought out saying, because now and forever he will be known as "Habt ihr euch eigentlich überlegt" to us, and we loathe him.

"Hallo? Hallo? Könntet ihr bitte dort drüben grillen? Das riecht sehr stark bei uns, und meine Freundin ist vegetarier." (Hello, hello? Could you please grill over there? The smoke smells really bad in our apartment, and my girlfriend is a vegetarian.) -Again, no, but I'm a vegetarian too, so you can come eat with us!

Grilling was a major theme for us in 2007, and the neighbors never liked it. The thing is, everyone grills in our courtyard and it stinks all the time, that's just a part of summer, so get over yourselves and deal with it.

"Could you watch my bike for me?" This was a question from "Habt ihr euch eigentlich überlegt" while we were eating breakfast on our balcony. And you know what we said? No. I'm sorry, but if you're going to run around with that ugly Monday-morning look on your face even on a sunny Saturday, I'm not going to watch your stupid bike just because you're too lazy to put the stupid lock on it. Come on, what're we supposed to do if someone steals it? Jump over our balcony and chase them? Seriously. Hast du es dir eigentlich überlegt?

Fall 2007

A little note on an ugly pink bike in our hallway DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF MY DOOR: "Hände weg von diesem Fahrrad!" (Hands off this bike) Apparently, other inhabitants of our house had been moving the bike and/or letting the air out of the tires (I saw it numerous times with flat tires). My reply, also on a little note: "Then put it in a reasonable place, brain surgeon."

This is a test.

What's wrong with the little burning Earth in the global warming graphic below?

Climate Change!



















I don't really know why everybody is talking about climate change all the time. Maybe it's interesting for them, but the thing I especially don't get is why they talk about it like it's something bad. Personally, I don't consider it a bad thing when I can safely ride my bike to work in the middle of January, without having to worry about ice or snow on the streets. I also don't mind being able to wear a light jacket when I go out for a little walk in the middle of winter. My son doesn't mind either, because all that winter gear he has to wear really gets on his last nerve. He can hardly walk, turn his head or move his arms with all those snow pants and thick coats and hats and layers of warm clothes. So what's the problem? Really, think about it: the dinosaurs died off because of climate change, glaciers melted because of climate change, lakes and rivers formed because of climate change. And this was always just the natural cycle of the earth! The dinosaurs didn't have cars, and whatever was living when the glaciers melted sure wasn't using lots of gas and oil and emitting carbon. This is just the natural course of the earth, and just because people haven't written anything like this down in the history books before doesn't mean that it's all our fault, or more specifically, all America's fault. But, if you want to give it your best and speed it up so we can all enjoy a few more warm winters in our lifetimes, go to this website about how you can control climate change, and just do the opposite!

I love shopping at the Plus Markt

Well, okay, I really don't love shopping at the Plus Markt, because it's just full of ridiculous characters who are pushy and don't say excuse me, one of my biggest pet peeves in this country anyway, as well as all of my rude neighbors who I don't ever want to see, and then there are the beggars who sit at the entry and huff the gas from various hairsprays and spray paints, their spinach is expensive, even though they claim to be "insanely cheap" in all their ads. But yesterday, Plus exceeded all of my expectations. We were doing some last minute emergency shopping just before the stores close until Monday, and were standing in the dreary line at the checkout. There was a small Asian woman ahead of us, probably a young student. She paid, started packing her purchases, and her phone rang. She answered in her native language very loudly, and this struck us as somewhat comical. We tried to supress our smiles and giggles, and the cashier noticed this as she was scanning our diapers and cheese. And then, with a sly smile, she imitated the Asian woman's speech. Just a couple syllables, and went back to scanning as if nothing had happened. No smile, nothing, just scan-beep-scan-beep... And we stared at each other, first shocked, and then we just lost it and cracked up. How inappropriate is that? I'm ashamed of myself. But still, though it was so incorrect it was also so hilarious. It was as if I was in a dream.

Well, maybe, just maybe, all that poop on the street could someday serve a useful purpose...

Dog Poop Shoe Prints Lead to Arrest

Thursday, January 10, 2008 12:25:18 PM

Dog isn't this man's best friend.

Josue Herrios-Coronilla, 18, drove his black Camaro on the wrong side of the road Wednesday and crashed into the yard of man who owns four dogs, police said.

Police found crushed bushes, a damaged fence, an inoperable car -- and a fresh shoe print in a pile of dog feces.

Following an odoriferous trail down the street, Sgt. Dale Gunter noticed a white van driving toward him. When he asked the passenger to step out, he noticed the smell of alcohol on the man's breath and evidence all over his shoes.

Herrios-Coronilla was charged with driving while impaired and drinking underage and released

on $1,500 bail. He could not immediately be reached for comment.

2007: the year in review

2007 was quite a year, with lots of long trips, big events and funny happenings. There were also some not so funny happenings, like the untimely deaths of the 2 sweetest bunnies ever, Wee and Waboose. But here I'm going to focus on some of the quotable quotes and crazy situations that I just happened to either overhear or be right in the middle of.

February: "Kriminalpolizei Peine, Schneider ist mein Name." -an undercover cop who showed us a metal "Kriminalpolizei" keychain as ID. We were pulled over because the taillights on the car were out. There seems to be a short circuit which only has problems in cold weather. It turns out you just have to beat the dashboard until it goes back on.

April: A part of Albertplatz was renamed Jorge-Gomondai-Platz here in Dresden-Neustadt, in honor of a man from Mozambique who was killed by skinheads near there. The man behind us on this very square said, in thick Saxon German and in an exasperated flat tone: "Das war so ein Schwarzer, der von angeblich Rechtsradikalen aus der Strassenbahn geworfen worden sein soll und dadran ist er dann gestorben." (That was a black guy who is said to have been thrown from the tram by supposed skinheads and died.)

July: In Puerto Santiago, Tenerife, Rico said dryly to Bettina: "Das glaube ich dir, Bettina," (I believe you Bettina) after Bettina excitedly pointed out the existence of a large supermarket nearby our hotel. This has since become my very favorite thing to say in any situation.

Imagine the biggest, hairiest British soccer thug, and imagine him saying "I'll never go back to Turkey again!" This guy was hanging out on the street, talking over the hedge to some people in a restaurant in Los Gigantes, Tenerife. I don't know why he'll never go back to Turkey, but if he's not there, it's just one more reason for me to go!

"Do I look like a f***ing c**t?" This question was posed by my travelling companion, also in Tenerife, in the city of Las Americas after being asked about ten times if he was from the Netherlands or England or other exotic far away places by people on the street wanting to sell things. They left us alone after this.

November: "Arsch hoch!" (Bottoms up!) -Willy. He says this if he even sees a diaper, because he knows that when you get changed, you have to put your bottom up!

More car news: for nearly the whole year (until November) the engine had been rattling and sounded like it was about to give out any second. Well, before a long drive, the driver decided to check the oil, and surprise! There was none! After pouring in one quart still nothing showed on the dipstick, another quart, just a tiny drop on the tip of the dipstick. Another quart or so and everything was okay, and the rattling was gone forever. It had been at least 2 years since the oil had been checked.

December: "Scheiße." (Shit) -Willy

"Das ist mein neuer kleiner Ständer." (That's my new little "tripod.") A certain colleague of mine said this in a certain vacation location about his new tripod. "Ständer" also has another meaning in German: erection.

"Do you have dolphin?" This is a question I wanted to pose in Los Cristianos, Tenerife, when we were walking around looking for something to eat. Usually people standing outside the restaurants bother you when you walk by, hoping to lure you into their tourist traps. Unfortunately, they amazingly left us alone. Maybe because we had a kid with us, maybe because we were fully clothed, as opposed to all the other people strutting their fat rings and saggy body parts in swimsuits or just their underwear. Or maybe I just looked so fed up with everything that they thought it better to leave me unspoken to.

The man who changed from his swimsuit to his regular clothes IN A RESTAURANT, at his table, right in front of me. This was also in Los Cristianos, after we had found some food. I wouldn't complain about it if this man had been somewhat young or in any way attractive, but he was neither. He was old and had a belly the size of Texas. He had the decency to put a towel around his bottom half as he slipped out of his swim trunks, but after he'd put on his tight white underwear, he removed the towel. I'll admit, the underwear were new shiny white, but did he really have to adjust his scrotum right in front of me while I was eating? (He really did, and with pleasure.)

"Temperament!!" -some Gomeran in San Sebastián. Of course he was talking to Willy, because he was pretty spirited during our vacation, to put it nicely. But I have to give the Spanish credit, they don't get nearly as wound up about a loud kid as Germans do! They take it with ease and come talk to him and ask him what's up ("Que pasa?"), they don't just sigh and roll their eyes and look at me like I'm abusing and/or neglecting my child.

"Na dann." (Well then.) -Willy

This performance will knock your socks off, and I'm not just saying it because these guys are my friends.

(If you don't see the video, go here: http://www.youtube.com/user/EclecticTheatreEV)

It's the most wonderful time of the year...











If you go shopping from today until the end of the year, these are the kind of crowds of remote-controlled beings you'll be dealing with.

Where do I even start? Today we started with the most innocent plans of spending a nice day in the city, doing some fun things (going to breakfast and to the aquarium) and doing something useful, like getting Willy a new warm coat. Breakfast was really, really good, and the aquarium was fun. After breakfast we wanted to show Willy the trains in the central station, and were then warned by a train station worker while looking at one of the high speed trains that we might not want to stand on that particular platform because a train full of football fans from Berlin would be arriving there shortly. We thought this might be funny, if only we could find a place to observe from out of reach of the rowdies. Noticing all the police officers in riot gear, we tried to discern where the rowdies would be going. Unfortunately, there were no riots, or we missed them, and so we continued on our way. We had a nice time at the aquarium, though it was a bit crowded, and I really can't stand a crowd. I guess this should have been a warning to go home and take a breather before going shopping. The real riot was just about to start.

Anyway, we ventured into the city, because 1) I wanted to buy some sweets, and 2) because Willy needs a new coat. We walked about 5 steps into the store where I could buy some sweets, and decided to take the quickest route back out. It was just full of people. Packed full, like a can of sardines is packed full. And I don't give up so easily when it comes to candy. Then we thought we would venture into the store with coats for kids, because we really do need this coat. It's cold here. We got about 10 steps inside when I had a complete meltdown and started swearing loudly in the middle of the store because people were literally pushing me, my child and my husband. Swearing loudly in public is generally not my thing, but this behavior I cannot accept. Is it not just good behavior to leave a little bit of space between yourself and the next person, especially when you don't know them, in a public space? A few minutes later I had another meltdown because some stupid jerk (and I really mean stupid jerk) pushed past the stroller and jumped over one wheel just to get past us. I cursed once again, loudly wondering what all the pushing and shoving was about, but of course no one cared. This really put me over the edge. I left the store, went across the street and waited. I felt pretty aggressive.

It got better. After leaving this area, we still had to make our way back to the car. On the way, we saw women dressed in clothing that made them look as though they were for sale, exposing amounts of skin that really isn't acceptable in the cold and holy Christmas season. The greatest was, however, a mother of a small baby in a stroller who actually rammed her stroller into ours and DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE BECAUSE SHE WAS TALKING ON HER CELL PHONE. Or she just didn't care, which is actually even more likely. Oh, yeah, then some guy tried to run us over with his car, just because we were walking on the SIDEWALK and he wanted to turn into a parking garage. I should have spit on his stupid station wagon. Or kicked it and really broken something.

The point of this is how incredibly pointless it is to get all wound up and just forget all good manners when December rolls around. This time of year is actually all about love and togetherness and all that jazz, right? I'm not even religious and I know that much. So why all the pushiness and aggression? If it's all too much for you, and you can't handle buying presents for so many people or whatever, then don't do it. Your relatives will probably thank you, because they don't like your presents anyway! They think about ways to get rid of them after they receive them! Just stay home and let normal people shop in peace for things they really need, like a warm coat for their kid.

Mmmmm, delicious deer















If only I could shoot this majestic whitetail deer relaxing in my parents' backyard...

It's true, today is the first day of deer season in Michigan and I'm missing it. To be more exact, it's the first day of rifle season, meaning you can blast away these animals with something like a canon. Up to today, you could only hunt with a bow and arrow during bow season. But starting today, like every year, you can go out and blow these beasts away with a gun! The kids have a day off from school, and some people even take a day off from work for this. Oh, man, I wish I was there. I miss all the Rocky Smiths with their beer cans and cowboy boots and rusty trucks. I especially miss hunter orange, the only fashion choice for fall. I miss the mailman's car getting accidentally shot by hunters and I miss not being allowed to wear a brown jacket because hunters could mistake me for a deer. I miss waking up to the sound of rifles being shot and people ringing the doorbell to ask if they can enter our property to search for the deer they hit, but which continued running and got away. Mmmm, I miss the smell of my brother butchering his deer at our house. And I miss the smell of sweet deer meat, or venison, frying on the stove. Deer season, I wish you were here. Well, not really.

The latest culinary delights from my kitchen

Well, I don't mean to turn this into a cooking blog or anything, but as the latest news is coming from my kitchen, that's just the way it is right now. Tomorrow is a holiday here in Germany, Day of German Reunification, commemorating, you guessed it, the reunification of East and West Germany. Since I don't have any students today or tomorrow, I thought I'd just proofread my latest translation then call it a day at around 10:00 this morning. So I had some time to cook something delicious: Chocolate Fudge Pudding. The choice was easy, I just looked for something chocolate-y for which I also had all of the ingredients already. Here's what you need:

50 grams or 4 tablespoons of butter, plus some extra for greasing the baking form
6 tablespoons of brown sugar or raw cane sugar
2 eggs, beaten
350 ml or 1 1/4 cups of milk
50 grams or 1/2 cup chopped walnuts
40 grams or 1/4 cup white flour
2 tablespoons of cocoa
confectioner's sugar and cocoa for dusting

-Grease an oven proof dish (it should be able to hold one liter)
-Cream the butter and sugar, then add the eggs
-Stir in the milk and nuts
-Sift in the flour and cocoa powder
-Pour this into the baking dish and bake at 180 C or 350 F for 35-40 minutes
-Dust with confectioner's sugar and cocoa powder and serve

As usual, I did some substituting: ground hazelnuts instead of walnuts, just because I didn't have any walnuts on hand. This is bafflingly easy and crazily delicious. I thought baked pudding would be much more complicated to prepare, that's why I was always hesitant to try this recipe, but it's really quick and simple. We let it cool for a half hour or so and then Willy and I tested it. It definitely passed the Willy test with flying colors: it not only got applause, but also many "mmms" and requests for more. Thanks to Ed and Dana for this recipe, it was in the cookbook you got me for my birthday last year!

More Pumpkin!

Somehow I'm fully in fall mode with my cooking and baking, maybe it's because I'm pretty much housebound. But the knee is getting better as a result, I get physical therapy in just 2 weeks and can walk normally again soon (I hope)! Anyway, we picked up another pumpkin on the weekend, and because I'm turning orange from all the pumpkin soup lately, I tried something new: Pumpkin Bread.

1 1/2 cups (210g) flour
1/2 teaspoon of salt
1 cup (200 g) sugar
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 cup (1/4 L) pumpkin purée
1/2 cup (1 dL) olive oil
2 eggs, beaten
1/4 cup water
1/4 teaspoon nutmeg
1/4 teaspoon cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon allspice
1/2 cup (1 dL) chopped walnuts

(metric measurements in parentheses)

Preheat oven to 350°F (180°C). Sift together the flour, salt, sugar, and baking soda. Mix the pumpkin, oil, eggs, 1/4 cup of water, and spices together, then combine with the dry ingredients, but do not mix too thoroughly. Stir in the nuts. Pour into a well-buttered 9x5x3 inch loaf pan. Bake 50-60 minutes until a straw poked in the very center of the loaf comes out clean. Turn out of the pan and let cool on a rack.

Makes one loaf.

I also found this recipe on the internet. This is kind of like banana bread, just with pumpkin. I used whole wheat flour and only half the sugar, and it turned out super good. Not extremely sweet, but deliciously spicy. Once again, I substituted walnuts with almonds, due to a lack of walnuts in my household, and once again, it's incredibly delicious.

Real deer really in Beaverton (Township, anyway) approaching the pumpkin patch at my parents' house.







This is what we call a squash, a buttercup squash.

Here in Germany, everything that we would call squash or pumpkin in the United States is only called pumpkin, Kürbis. They just have one word for both things. Well, somebody must really love me, because he knows my love of these big, round vegetables and bought me one yesterday from a little roadside stand. I was so excited about this pretty green squash that I immediately cut it open and started working away, making soup, cookies and roasted seeds. Mmmmm. Usually when I chop open a pumpkin, it's cold inside (this time of year in Michigan is already pretty cool), and when I reach in to take out the innards and seeds, I imagine cold brains. But this one was warm! It had been out by the road on a table in the sun all day, just waiting to come to my kitchen!

For dinner, we had "season your own pumpkin soup." I made a very basic pumpkin soup, first boiling half of the squash cut into chunks and 3 or 4 small potatoes. When it was all soft and squishy I drained off most of the water and blended the vegetables until they were smooth and soupy. Then I put this back on the stove and added some cream and a big, fat pat of butter, and once that was all warm again and mixed, we put our soup into bowls and the fun began. I put ginger and sea salt in mine, and this was a delectable treat, another variation was with nutmeg, paprika and salt. Usually when I make pumpkin or squash soup I make it with onion, garlic and curry.

Since I have never succeeded at making a good pumpkin pie (how very un-American of me...), I made pumpkin cookies instead. Here's the recipe:

GREAT PUMPKIN COOKIES
(Submitted by Francine T. Ryan)
MAKES ABOUT 20 COOKIES
Fran writes: "The Great Pumpkin Cookies recipe has been one of my favorites for Halloween. The neighbors are sure to know that when Halloween rolls around I can be counted on to have bags of these wonderful mouth watering cookies at hand. They even prefer these to candy. What a compliment."
INGREDIENTS
2 cups flour
1 cup quick oats
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 cup margarine or butter softened
1 cup of firmly packed brown sugar (dark or light)
1 cup of sugar
1 egg
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 cup Libby's Solid Pack Pumpkin
1 cup semi sweet chocolate chips or M&M's candies
1 cup raisins
1 cup nuts (any kind)
Preheat Oven to 350° F. Combine flour, oats, baking soda, cinnamon and salt. Cream butter, gradually add sugars, beating until light and fluffy. Add egg and vanilla; mix well. Alternate additions of dry ingredients and pumpkin, mixing well after each addition. Stir in morsels. For each cookie, drop 1/4 cup dough onto lightly greased cookie sheet; spread into shape using a thing metal spatula. Bake at 20 to 25 minutes until cookies are firm and lightly browned.
Note: You can double the recipe if you use can pumpkin, since you usually have a lot left over.

I got this recipe on the internet, and have never followed it exactly. For example, I've never included the chocolate. Usually I use walnuts for the nuts, but yesterday I only had some slivered almonds, and this was super, maybe even better than the walnuts. I also only used half the white sugar that the recipe calls for, and the cookies were still quite sweet. One final note, I obviously didn't use Libby's solid pack pumpkin. This time I took a chunk of squash, skinned it and put it through the food processor with the grater. It worked like a dream.

And what, you may ask, did I do with all the squash skin left over from this culinary adventure? I gave it to Rosie and Rocket, of course! I knew that deer like pumpkins, so I figured bunnies should, too. And this morning nearly all of it had been eaten in the night!

Rosie and Rocket had a great summer!















Look at how well we can share!

Rosie and Rocket visited their friends Merlin, Mimoe, Najimo and Luna in bunny paradise this summer when the people were in Tenerife. If you'd like to see their vacation videos, go visit gluecksmari on YouTube. It looks like Rosie and Merlin are in love!

The Advantages of Having George W. Bush in the White House









I'm no Republican, nor do I really appreciate any of George W. Bush's work as President of the United States of America, but I like to look on the bright side. Reflecting on his years in office, they have provided at least me with some advantages.

1. He's a good reason to leave the country.

2. He kind of looks like a monkey, and who doesn't like monkeys?

3. He says lots of grammatically incorrect things, making him a gold mine for teachers of English.

4. For better or worse, he's always a source of conversation material.

5. You can always make a joke about him. Today at my knee checkup for example, I threatened to call my "Uncle George" if my knee doesn't heal properly. The doctor, nurse and computer guy who was there to fix the network all liked that one.

Hmmmm, should I become German?

I just took a test very much like the German citizenship test, and passed with a grade of 76%. That's actually a bit shameful, considering I've studied German at a university and lived here for over 4 years, but anyway, even with just 76% (which equates to a C-"average"- on the American grading scale), I could become German. That is, if I passed the real citizenship test with such a grade. Considering that I'm married to a German, have a German child, pay taxes to the German government, well, why not? I don't know. I think it's just not really who I am. Dual citizenship might be nice, I imagine, but I don't really know if that's an option. I'm happy with my American passport, and it would feel pretty strange to have to get a visa to visit my family and my hometown. So I think I'll remain a white bread, corn fed American girl.

Here's the test if you want to give it a whirl (in German): Einbürgerungstest
And here are some things that make me not German (also in German): Five Reasons why Germans are Strange

I like it here, don't get me wrong, and I like Germans. Otherwise I wouldn't be teaching people here my language! Nor would I have married one, let alone produced a German child. But there are times when I just don't understand what's going on. But really, that's not so different from living in the United States!

The advantages and disadvantages of breaking your kneecap

Let's start with the disadvantages:

-it really hurts
-it's scary, because who knows if the doctors will need to slice open your knee to fix it?
-all the things you were looking forward to after finishing that 260-page translation (like long walks, trips to museums, hours at the playground with your child) just got cancelled!
-you have to give yourself shots in the belly or upper thigh against thrombosis (blood clots)
-you can't really help yourself by just jumping up and getting another cup of coffee or running to the store and buying some chocolate
-it's hard to sleep with an elevated leg

The advantages (though they are few):

-you get good painkillers as long as you're not pregnant, breastfeeding or have kidney or liver problems
-you suddenly have the time to read all those books you just ordered on Amazon
-if you're lucky, you have good friends who come and cook for you and do loads of helpful things (like getting you chocolate) so you don't have to worry about them yourself on your crutches or somehow sliding around on the floor on your bottom
-you can lie around all day like a cat and sleep at will

In my case, fortunately an operation isn't necessary, I seem to have fallen in such a way to break my kneecap in the best possible way. We'll see what the friendly doctor says on Monday, but I hope to be back in action soon. In the meantime, I'll continue reading all those bilingual childrearing books I just bought, listening to "This American Life" and thinking of ways to look good in a leg brace for the next six weeks.

The cat got a blog.















And you can read it here: http://herrschmidtkommtmit.blogspot.com/

Forest Fire!














The smoking island on the left is where we were on vacation just a few short weeks ago. I'm glad we saw it with trees! And this is just another reason to follow my "Tenerife Travel Tips."

For more information, go here (if you know German): http://www.sz-online.de/nachrichten/artikel.asp?id=1562271

Top Tenerife Travel Tips

1. Heed the recommendations of the tour leaders. They are there to help you. For example, you really shouldn’t leave the city or town you’re staying in, and better yet, don’t even leave the hotel complex. Natives may be lurking around the entrance or the edge of the city to steal your cash, car and clothes from your body.
   

2. Only go to restaurants that offer national specialties from your country of origin and have servers from your home country. You wouldn’t want to get the plague from the locals or have them steal your identity.
   

3. Scold the natives if they don’t speak your language. I mean, if they have international clients, they should speak international languages. You’re on vacation, and shouldn’t have to have the stress of trying to communicate with your hosts in a language that is ultimately nothing compared to your language.
   

4. Don’t waste your time sleeping at night. Then it’s cool and you don’t have the hot sun beating down on you. Stay up all night, drink as much liquor as possible, and go to your free hotel breakfast unwashed and with squinty eyes. Your fellow hotel guests will be jealous of your exciting life.
   

5. Complain about the screaming children of other hotel guests audibly at breakfast. This has special impact in combination with number 6.
   

6. Leave lost villages lost. They are lost for a reason. This reason could be that the inhabitants all died on the way to said lost village because of bad road conditions.

7. Better yet, find lost villages (see 6) by accident the next day while on a completely different road in a place where the lost village is not shown on the map.

8. Don't forget, vacation is a fashion show. Whether for bikinis (or just bikini bottoms, as many bathers were guilty of), fancy dresses, short shorts, and incredibly low cut shirts, get it all out there! And shake it! This is the one time of year when your neighbors, coworkers and boss aren't looking!

Brought to you by your guide, Sarah, seen here enjoying her vacation to the fullest.

I come here to get away from you.
...or what Jeff Tweedy said at the Wilco concert.
















Jeff Tweedy, the singer of Wilco.

Walking into the Alter Schlachthof this evening, I felt that I had been instantly transplanted back to the United States. There were so many Americans around me, speaking real live American English in accents I haven't heard in a long, long time that it made me somewhat uncomfortable. Just this morning over breakfast I had commented that I haven't met any new English teachers lately, and was wondering what was up. Well, apparently they had all been holed up just waiting for the Wilco concert to come out of their undisclosed locations.

The concert was good, and I mean really, really good. Wilco is a band that I have quite liked for a while, after someone gave me a tape of theirs. I've always thought of them as a nice, relaxed rock band, with a kind of country rock sound that can't really be categorized, but it's somehow correct that they are from Chicago with this sound. And lately they've been working with Jim O'Rourke, who is one of my favorite musicians. He's in Sonic Youth now, he's also from Chicago, and despite his own fantastic sound that can't be copied, he's very humble about how good it is. I met him once at a bookstore and he seemed very surprised when I told him how much I liked his new CD. Anyway, Jim wasn't there tonight, but if you took the Wilco CDs and intensified their sound and energy by a factor of 10, then you might come close to what this concert was like. It really blew me away.

The crowd was also very enthusiastic, and gave Wilco a wild welcome to Dresden. Jeff Tweedy stated that they enjoyed their day in Dresden, and someone yelled "What did you see?" Well, the cover of the Americans was blown by this guy. He replied "You're an American, aren't you?" and the crowd exploded. People got really excited and started yelling out their home states and cities, and this is when Mr. Tweedy stated "I come here to get away from you! And I mean that in a really true way." Later on in the concert, he asked "What are all of you Americans doing here, anyway? Setting up hedge funds?" And some guy screamed out "Teaching English!!!" with more enthusiasm than I knew anyone could have for their career. Mr. Tweedy replied "I pity the fools." Thanks guy in the audience for making us English teachers look like a rowdy bunch who can't be respected! Then he dedicated a song to the Germans in the audience, and only the Germans.

This surprise at being confronted with sheer, untethered Americanism so far from America is something I face on a regular basis. Sometimes it's refreshing and I feel like I'm a little bit closer to home, but most of the time it's unsettling, because all of these loud, rowdy people are exactly the types I have always wanted to escape from my whole life.

Regardless of the loud Americans, I hope Wilco stops in Dresden again sometime. It was a great concert and I would definitely go again!

Frog Tunnels and Forest Bridges

You've got to love a country that has an amphibian protection system in place. When I first heard of this years ago, I checked the calendar to make sure it wasn't April Fools' Day. Don't get me wrong, I adore frogs, but the government actually spends money building walls and tunnels so that frogs don't hop onto the street and get smashed by cars? This is truly fantastic. Here's how it looks:














The froggy fence.











Careful! Frog migration!

It's a pretty good idea when you really think about it, because during frog migration so many frogs cross the street that if cars ran a good portion of them over, the street would get pretty slick with the little froggy corpses. So this is both for amphibian protection and our safety.

The forest bridge is another interesting German thing, but in my research of this topic, I found out that these not only exist in Germany, but also in England and Canada. This is a bridge, in Germany going over the Autobahn at various locations, that animals can use to get to the other side of the road without getting hit by cars. So that they use the bridge, high fences are in place along the highway giving them only one option of crossing the street: either use the bridge, or stay on your side of the street. And apparently animals really do use these. It might take a generation or two until the old animals who knew life before the bridge die out, leaving young animals who remember no other way of crossing the street except using the bridge. It's also animal friendly, planted with grass, so that no one can confuse it with a street. See below.











A forest bridge. This one's in England.

New Bunnies


















Introducing Rocket...




















and Rosie!

Since a house is not a home without a pair of bunnies, I had to get myself 2 new ones. Rosie has been with us for a while now, and following Waboose's death, I found it sad to have her live on her own. After much consideration, I chose Rocket as her new friend and living companion. At the begininning, the two ladies didn't seem to like each other, but shortly they began cuddling and enjoying each others' company.