Friday, August 31, 2007

The advantages and disadvantages of breaking your kneecap

Let's start with the disadvantages:

-it really hurts
-it's scary, because who knows if the doctors will need to slice open your knee to fix it?
-all the things you were looking forward to after finishing that 260-page translation (like long walks, trips to museums, hours at the playground with your child) just got cancelled!
-you have to give yourself shots in the belly or upper thigh against thrombosis (blood clots)
-you can't really help yourself by just jumping up and getting another cup of coffee or running to the store and buying some chocolate
-it's hard to sleep with an elevated leg

The advantages (though they are few):

-you get good painkillers as long as you're not pregnant, breastfeeding or have kidney or liver problems
-you suddenly have the time to read all those books you just ordered on Amazon
-if you're lucky, you have good friends who come and cook for you and do loads of helpful things (like getting you chocolate) so you don't have to worry about them yourself on your crutches or somehow sliding around on the floor on your bottom
-you can lie around all day like a cat and sleep at will

In my case, fortunately an operation isn't necessary, I seem to have fallen in such a way to break my kneecap in the best possible way. We'll see what the friendly doctor says on Monday, but I hope to be back in action soon. In the meantime, I'll continue reading all those bilingual childrearing books I just bought, listening to "This American Life" and thinking of ways to look good in a leg brace for the next six weeks.

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