Saturday, May 23, 2009
Never before in my life have I had to deal with more blatantly disrespectful, nasty, mean comments than as a teacher of middle and high school kids. It is as if these children have no upbringing or have never been held accountable for the horrible things they say. And I don't want to say "well, maybe I'm just taking this all to personally", because is it really acceptable to tell someone to their face (a person who should be a person of respect, haha) that they are "being dumb"? Is it okay to tell a teacher (a teacher of an elective course that these kids are in purely by choice) that "no one cares"? Is it acceptable to constantly interrupt someone who is speaking to you or simply turn your back on them and start having a social conversation? Is it acceptable to blurt out "This class sucks cock"? That one warranted a call home and contact with the office, and things have straightened out, because at least there is some parental support in this instance. Throughout all of these stupid instances and more there have been messages home, contact with superiors, and searches for help and support, but little has helped. Some days I am left after my last class just shaking my head. One very nice student I have said one day, "You know, they are like they are because of how they've been raised". I was tempted to add, "No, it's how they haven't been raised at all." Most of the kids in my classes are like wild animals who just do what they want. A stark minority of them have parents who are really there for them, teaching them things and holding them accountable for their actions. Those ones are great kids, good students, and an absolute pleasure to teach. Teaching the rest of them is like herding feral cats in heat.
And the thing that makes my blood boil is that I know my class isn't lame. As a language nerd, I have been in a number of extremely lame, boring language classes, where you don't do any communicative activities, any projects, anything hands-on. I have all glowing reviews from my three bosses who have been in observing me this year. These kids in my classes are constantly doing projects and hands-on stuff, games, stories, and still they bitch and complain. Probably because they are being forced to think and do something. I was tempted a number of times to go in this year and say, "Well, if you don't like how I'm teaching you, let me show you for a week how I was taught German in school." I could have pursed my lips and turned red every time a kid talked out of turn, sent them to the office for any minor infraction, and had them doing book work and worksheets the whole hour with a strict no talking policy. They would've loved it.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
As the weather gets nicer, the kids are getting more colorful.
Quotes from today:
One student asks another student for a cookie. Student with cookie replies, "The last time I gave you something you tried to smoke it." Student who wanted cookie then states, "No, I tried to snort it." (it was a pack of Smarties) Student wanting cookie then got cookie, ate it, and snorted the crumbs from his paper. This is a true story that really happened today at about 12:40 pm.
Out of the blue, someone blurts out, "If you eat your own leg, would you gain or lose weight?"
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Driving past Lloyd's house on Friday, it seemed that something was in the works, since they had a giant digger in the field, digging the mud pits even deeper. On our way home yesterday, we first heard the roar of engines, then saw the field on the corner full of parked cars, and knew some kind of event was happening. A mud bog. The mud bog is apparently a favorite rural pastime, occurring all around the United States. From what I have observed at our neighbors' house, a lot more preparation seems to go into the thing than the actual bogging itself. The vehicles are constantly propped up on cinder blocks, and the boggers are always working on them, for days and weeks at a time, the bog is constantly being flooded and dug out, and then the actual bogging, the driving of some big, loud truck through the mud, takes a couple of minutes. That is, unless they get stuck or the truck overheats and quits. Then they sit for quite a while, futilely spinning their tires, waiting for something bigger and more powerful to pull them out. We parked on the road, like many other passers-by, to gape at this spectacle of rural entertainment.

In the left edge of the picture, you can see a Jeep with its hood up. This car had overheated and quit. It sat motionless for quite a while. The orange truck is in the process of pulling the brown truck out of the mud where it got stuck.

The orange truck was unable to pull out the brown truck, so the big boys had to come out. Big blue was able to get the job done, but only after the overheated Jeep was removed from the scene so it didn't get damaged in the towing process.

Equal opportunity fun! Even people on crutches can bog.


Doesn't that look like fun?
Upon leaving our safe parking spot on the road to head for home, we noticed a car turn the corner behind us from the direction of the bog. To be safe, we turned the wrong way and didn't drive to our house, because we were scared we were being followed by Lloyd's friends. They probably didn't like it that so many people in nice cars were stopping on the road, pointing and laughing at them, so it wouldn't surprise me if they were following people to beat them up or do some kind of damage to their vehicles. Also, Lloyd the bogger does not get along well with people who live on our road. It is a different world from Lloyd's, just a half mile away. Well-kept houses and people walking, jogging and riding bikes in clean clothes, not caked with mud. As our neighbor, the man who in hindsight very unfortunately sold Lloyd his property, would say, "Lloyd, the people who live on the river, they have a little bit more money, and they think your mud bog is stupid." This conversation occured after a mud bog years ago, during which Lloyd and his friends drove their big trucks onto property that didn't belong to Lloyd and tore up the land with their big tires.
Viewing this bog and its poorly dressed participants with bad haircuts took me right back to my school days, when people who looked just like them (maybe these same people were there yesterday) used to harass my friends and I, calling us lesbians, breaking and mutilating our things, and committing other forms of abuse. If these people weren't such cruel jerks, maybe I wouldn't laugh at them and how stupid I think they are. Maybe I wouldn't point and take pictures which I plan to broadcast to the world and write sarcastic things about. In the end, I am no better than them, laughing at them and making fun of their silly loud trucks because I just can't understand what they enjoy about doing what they do.

Haha. What luck. I am stuck stuck stuck.
Saturday, May 09, 2009

That's what I had for breakfast this morning.
I'd been planning on making delicious pancakes for breakfast today since yesterday, and when I woke up this morning, I had a hankering for chocolate chip pancakes, because I wanted to use up that bag of chocolate chips that was just lying around and terrorizing me. So I found the easiest recipe I could, and wow...
Here it is:
Ingredients
- 4 tablespoons (1/2 stick) unsalted butter
- 1 cup whole, 2 percent fat, or 1 percent fat milk
- 1 1/4 cups flour
- 1 tablespoon sugar
- 4 teaspoons baking powder
- 3/4 teaspoon salt
- 2 eggs
- 6 ounces semisweet chocolate chips, or less to taste
- Butter, for cooking
Directions
In a small saucepan, combine the butter and milk. Place over low heat just until warm and the butter is melted. Let cool slightly. In a bowl, combine the flour, sugar, baking powder, and salt; mix well.
In a large bowl, whisk the eggs with a fork. Whisk in the milk mixture. Add the dry ingredients and mix just until barely blended. Add the chocolate chips and mix.
Heat a griddle or large skillet over medium heat. Add about 1 teaspoon of butter and melt until bubbly. Ladle 3 tablespoons of batter for each pancake onto the hot surface and cook until bubbly on the top and golden brown on the bottom. Turn and cook until golden brown on the other side, about 30 seconds more. Repeat until all the batter is used up. Serve hot.
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While I did melt the butter together with the milk in a sauce pan, and did mix the dry ingredients as instructed, I did not whisk the eggs or whisk things together, I just mixed them with a spoon because I didn't want to dirty another bowl. It all turned out just fine. I also only used about 4 ounces of chocolate chips, because that's all I had, and it was quite enough. Wow, these are good, though my Hauskraut did say, and I quote: "that's typical American food. Way too sweet. Ugh," with a wrinkled nose. But I must add, he did not eat these with syrup, or even plain, but with butter and SWEETENED CONDENSED MILK on top. No wonder they were too sweet.
Thursday, May 07, 2009
Well, the countdown to the end of the schoolyear has begun. I didn't think I was going to make it on many occasions, I thought I might just drop dead from exhaustion or being harassed by some of my lovely students or from getting up at 5:30 in the morning and not seeing any daylight at all all winter long. But I've nearly made it, as long as I don't catch swine flu in the waning days of the school year and drop dead from that. But I've got lots of soap and hand sanitizer and am avoiding kids with runny noses like the plague, so I hope I don't get this one last scourge of the school year. I've been sick enough, either needing mental health days or actual sick days, whether puking, having a fever, hacking up a lung or just feeling like I can't go on. Anyway, there have been a number of funny moments, and that's actually what this post is about.
-Frau R#$*&§?'s Cafe: For those who don't know, I am a German teacher, so that will help these things to make more sense. The kids in German 1 had to make a menu for a fantasy restaurant, then create a dialog in that restaurant, ordering food and paying, etc. After being constantly hounded by the kids about "When are we going to do something fun? When are we going to play a game?" I just looked at them with my darkest look and said "I hate fun." That seemed to sober them up. As a response to me hating fun, one student's menu for his fantasy restaurant was for Frau R#$*&§?'s Cafe, and it consisted of meals such as Dead Children.
-My portrait: While circulating around class the other day, I was having a look at the students' work, and noticed a number of portraits along the margin of one kid's paper. At the top was Hitler. Then Stalin. Then...you guessed it, Frau R#$*&§?. But I only got third place because the kid couldn't draw Mussolini. I would have had fourth. Another student in class placed right after me, he is the best student and consistently has the highest grade on everything. Then another student, one of the worst, and he was saying in his portrait something about "drinking all I can, then drinking some more", which was quite accurate, considering that he usually talks about how long he is grounded for for coming home drunk, and explaining different types of beer bongs and how to use them. Then was yet another student, one who comes in late and often fails everything, very apologetic because he "lost track of time at fast food restaurant xyz" or "couldn't find his book" or "didn't know what to study" and usually just falls asleep. His quote was "Uuuuuh, I lost track of time." Also accurate.
-Yet another portrait. This one came up when doing a little project to practice the future tense, the kids drew six pictures and wrote six sentences about what they are going to do this summer. One kid who is mildly amusing drew as his first item "I am going to the Grand Canyon." In his picture was him standing over a big hole throwing in Frau ... Ummm, excuse me?
-Scribbled on the back of a piece of paper: Frau R#$*&§? = Hitler. Keine smiles. Kein lachen. Das Reich.
Huh, it seems like there are more, but they are not coming to me right now. I will post pictures of some of these items because they are amusing. I am just too lazy and exhausted right now. And anyway, I hate fun.
By the way, I did not put my actual name, but Frau R#$*&§? instead, because I know these kids are just dying to find this blog. Well, I congratulate them if they do, but pray they don't. At least not until I am far away from where I am now.
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Sunday, April 12, 2009

These rabbits fortunately did not die, they are some of the precious buns who live in the wild on our street.
For whatever reason (maybe because it's Easter), the conversation turned to the "Rabbit Test" while we were coloring Easter eggs this afternoon. I have often heard the phrase "The rabbit died" as an idiom for someone being pregnant, but never knew the horrible truth behind it. In the early part of the last century, a test was developed to test for pregnancy by taking a sample of the possibly pregnant woman's urine, injecting it into the ear vein of a female rabbit, then waiting 36 to 48 hours to dissect the rabbit and examine its ovaries. If the woman was pregnant, the rabbit's ovaries would change in response to the hormone hCG, interestingly enough, the same hormone detected by those trusty pee-stick tests you can get at your corner pharmacy. It seems the rabbit would die regardless of a positive or negative result, because either way, the bun had to be cut open. I can't imagine they'd have put the little guy under anaesthesia, sewn her up and saved her for the next test if the result was negative.
Anyway, happy Easter all, and let's all celebrate the cheap and easy availability of bunny life-saving pee sticks at our local pharmacies!
Saturday, April 11, 2009

Haircuts by Bob*
To get my spring break off to a roaring start, I accompanied someone to get a haircut in a town nearby Beaverton on Monday. The sign outside the salon announced a very inexpensive price, so we thought "Why not give it a try?" with the childlike innocence of foreigners. We ventured into the house, which is actually the barber's house, a pretty old house with a funny smell at that. The salon was the front room to the right when one enters the house. We loitered in the hallway next to the stairs after not seeing anyone in the salon area. Out of the kitchen which housed an avocado green refrigerator, probably a collector's item, popped a man's head. "I'll be right up," he announced. So we entered the salon area. Wilhelm was excited to find a cockatiel and parakeet in the corner of the salon, and as I started removing his coat and hat and he was busy peeping at the birds, the barber entered the room and said, "Oh, no, I don't do guys that small, he won't even fit in my chair." Somehow this always happens, at salons people always think Wilhelm's hair should be cut, but we do that at home. Anyway, the correct customer then took out the photos of his best haircut and said, "This is how I'd like my hair." Barber Bob glanced at the photos, tossed them to the side and whipped out his electric razor. "You want a lot off, huh?" was all he said. And did he start cutting! Wow! He turned his customer away from the mirror and shore him like a sheep. His customer had a worried expression on his face, and I probably did too. I decided it would be best to stop watching, and as my eyes wandered through the room, I noticed a giant rifle, much like the one pictured above, standing in the corner of the room. I guess Barber Bob must not get many complaints with that standing in the corner. Or if he does, he takes care of the problem so word of bad haircuts doesn't spread. Or maybe it's there because Barber Bob's shop is across the street from the county jail. Perhaps he has a contract with the police to, um, take care of any inmates that escape street clean up duty. Whatever the reason, it wasn't only the gun that made us pretty much satisfied with the haircut. Where else can you get a haircut for $8.50 these days?
*Barber's name has been changed
Tuesday, April 07, 2009

I can't take credit for this picture, it was borrowed from Mid-Michigan Dining. Go there for a true American perspective on Aldi.
"Are you from Europe? You don't look like you're from here." That was a pleasing greeting from my friendly Aldi cashier today. Somehow it was nice to hear after being fully annoyed this morning doing my laundry and being stared at like an alien in Beaverton, having a gas truck driver pull out in front of me (hey, my car's already smashed up, so what does it matter?), and having some lady cut in front of me in the supermarket line. Twice. Once as I was talking to Wilhelm when she just oh-so-casually slipped in front of me, and the second time when an extra cashier opened up a new lane. I was headed over to the new lane and this spry bun-wearing senior with dyed brown hair hopped in front of me for the second time. Then I saw her in the parking lot and swore at her under my breath.
But back to our little trip to Germany. Aldi is always refreshing, because it's so different. Well, Saginaw is different too. After living in small-town Beaverton and working in white-bread Midland for 7 months, we are sort of losing contact to the world. It felt so nice to be somewhere with such a colorful mix of customers, all friendly, not staring and suspicious like the Beaver-townies, or even the Midlanders. And everyone says such bad things about Saginaw, but everyone was very nice, returning Wilhelm's shoes to us when he kicked them across the store in a fit of rage, or asking if other dropped items were ours when the child screamed.
At Aldi, it feels so nice and homey to have to put a quarter deposit in the shopping cart to unlock it, rather than just grab a cart and leave it stranded in the parking lot somewhere as at all other American supermarkets. And not to have the cashier pack my items into 10,000 plastic bags (of which I now have a collection of probably a million overflowing from under my sink), but into another cart and let me fend for myself on how to transport my goods home. The Aldi shopping experience in America is pretty authentically German, with two major differences: the cashiers and the other customers. The other customers are nothing like German Aldi customers. They aren't complaining about some weird obscure price problem, or just about any other thing from the store to their health to the weather, they don't have sour looks on their faces, and they don't push and shove other customers or stand too close in line. They actually say "Excuse me" if they would like to get past you, or just wait patiently while you block the aisle, knowing that at some point, you will move. The American Aldi cashiers are also always very nice, with a friendly greeting and they will often chat with you about your purchases, or whatever else may interest them about you, as mentioned above. American Aldi cashiers seem genuinely nice, whereas cashiers at other retailers seem fake nice. Maybe my perception is altered because of the excitement of shopping at a German supermarket chain, but in my few trips to Aldi, I have had nicer, chattier cashiers than in my thousands of trips to Wal-Mart or Meijer. Yay, Aldi! You made my day.
Sunday, April 05, 2009

Unfortunately, the one I hit wasn't that far away when I saw it. It was right up against my windshield.

This is not the deer I hit, but very similar. It was dark when I hit "my" deer, and by the time we got back to take a picture of it, it had been reanimated and had left the scene. No, it didn't die, which is very disappointing to me. Never before have I wanted something so dead as I wanted that deer to be. But it was just in shock and later jumped up and ran away after defacing my car.
Well, today is another day of firsts. I hit my first deer today. Fortunately, it was a small one, and fortunately I was able to brake when I saw the idiot jump out of the trees on the side of the road, but it still screwed up the front end of my car. Honestly, it could have been worse, but I still cursed like I think I never have before, using words in front of my son that probably made his tender ears burn. But, other than burning ears, no one was hurt, so all is well. The car still drives, you can still put the hood up, it just has a bit more character now.
The whole scene was quite comical. Driving home from my brother's house, we were on a curvy road and apparently this deer was scaling the bank of the river, because it came running up from the bank of the Tobacco River. I saw it, honked and braked, but the stupid idiot just kept going, and ran right in front of my car and I hit it. Because my car is kind of low to the ground, the deer flew up onto the hood, against my windshield (which fortunately didn't break), and was projected 2 meters up into the air in a great arc to the other side of the road, where it landed. We drove back and the stupid thing was just lying next to the road gasping for air. However, 5 minutes later upon our return to take a photograph of the deer, it was gone. It had fled the scene. Never before have I wished that I carried a rifle under the seat of my car as my grandfather did, because I would have loved to have really done that deer in.
Monday, March 23, 2009
Last weekend we drove to the Bay City Recreational Area to have a look at all of the ice that has been pushed up from Lake Huron onto land. This didn't only happen here, but also in some residential areas where ice was pushed up into houses, through windows and walls. There were some photos in the newspaper of people with ice in their living rooms. We didn't see any of that, but from the shape of these ice mountains, you can imagine how that could happen if your house was very close to the shore.

Here you can see over the ice mountain out onto the Saginaw Bay. There are more mountains of ice out in the bay.

The surface of the ice had a neat crazed pattern, and was very glassy.

Here is some older ice, it looks more white than clear. And you can see the sheets of ice that have been pushed up from the water.

Here are some more crystally, sparkly, glass ice mountains. When the ice started to fall down like an avalanche, it even sounded like broken glass.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009

These guys are the only thing to make life in Michigan bearable. The bunnies. After noticing bunny tracks in the snow all winter, we weren't surprised to establish that there seems to be a high concentration of bunnies in our neighborhood. We were surprised, however, that these bunnies are not only Eastern Cottontails, as pictured above, but precious dwarf rabbits in black, gray, and white with black spots. In all my previous life in Beaverton, I had only witnessed Eastern Cottontails, and now living on the other side of town, I am seeing precious, multicolored dwarf rabbits in the wild! One of our neighbors even reported that years ago, these rabbits were so abundant that they were hopping around everywhere in the morning when he went to his car to go to work and wouldn't even hop away from people. Could we have found heaven?
The current bunnies do hop away, and seem to only live near vacant houses. I am pretty sure that one of the people on our street thinks we are sizing up the houses on the street to break into them and steal stuff, because we regularly drive and walk down the road to check on the bunnies, stopping in the middle of the street and staring onto property that does not belong to us. That is suspicious in America. You are not normal if you go out and observe precious bunnies in the wild, you are a burglar.
The biggest bunny news today: not only did we see all 5 of the precious buns (the gray one, the two brown ones, the black one and the one with cow spots), we also found baby bunny tracks in the snow on our front step! We had a tiny bunny visitor this morning who hopped right up onto our front step! The prints were very small, but definitely from a bunny, so we are very excited. Our master plan of capturing a baby bunny and taming it will soon be reality.
Monday, March 02, 2009
After eating lots of bad bread that tasted of dough conditioners and other assorted additives, and basically had no texture or substance anyway, someone started baking bread. After a few months of experimentation and travels from Gladwin, Michigan, to Windsor, Canada, in search of the perfect flour, here are the results:
germanbread.blogspot.com
Who knew I would marry a passionate baker?
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
http://www.paradise-sportsonline.com/
Click on that link and you will find one of the websites of one of our neighbor's companies. Anyone recognize the model? The first person to post a comment with the model's correct identity will win a free game of Elefun with me and Wilhelm. Hmm, if this new career will help us pay the bills? When do the royalty checks start rolling in?
Sunday, February 08, 2009
This weekend we finally have gotten a break from the miserably cold, gray winter weather that we have been having. Yesterday and today it was at least 42 degrees Fahrenheit (around 6 Celsius) and sunny, finally allowing us to go outside and do some walking. We decided to go to the park in Midland where there's a funny bridge called the Tridge and a couple of rivers that come together, as well as the Pere Marquette Rail Trail, an old railroad track that has been removed and converted into a bike and pedestrian path. The Rail Trail goes along the Titabawassee River for a while, which made us reminisce of walking along the Elbe Radweg with one big difference: on such a beautiful winter day in Dresden, you'd hardly be able to move on the path it would be so full of people. Yesterday, a large percentage of the people we saw in the park were Germans. We identified them based on the sensible winter clothing the children had on (especially the Kenny hats) and their fashionable shoes. When we got closer, we confirmed their nationality by hearing them speak actual German. Today we didn't spot any Germans, but didn't spot many other people out enjoying the beautiful weather, either. Why not? People do appreciate the nice weather, lots of people are talking about how beautiful it is outside, but very few are actually taking advantage of it. It's not only this way in the winter either, it was like that in the summer here as well. Pedestrian areas seem spooky, like ghost towns, there are shops, but no customers in sight. It seems like a lot of people here only really partake in outdoor activities (winter or summer) as a reason to drink lots of alcohol. Plenty of people go boating or canoeing or camping or fishing or paddling here, at least they call it that, but it has less to do with getting exercise or seeing the landscape than it has to do with sitting around and drinking lots. Maybe more people would go outside in the winter in Michigan if mulled wine were being sold along the Rail Trail. But I do recall being so happy going to Germany and just seeing people outside walking, because that is something you just don't see here. So this difference isn't new, I guess I must have just forgotten about it. If you are walking here, either you have a dog who forces you outside or your car is broken down or you're too poor to have a car. People just don't walk or move for fun or as a mode of transport here.
Monday, February 02, 2009
Saturday, January 31, 2009
We've been feeling like we are badly integrated in the USA, much like the headlines in the German newspapers are writing about the Turkish people in Germany lately. We download German news shows to watch, read the German news on the computer, and I am constantly checking what's up in Dresden. We are resisting integration here, we refuse to go ice fishing on the river, eat American bread or watch television. We don't even speak English in the home! Here's something else I have missed, the new cupola in the castle in Dresden. I'll just have to add that to my list of things to see when we visit.

What can I say, that looks really great! This is the part of the castle that I can only remember being reconstructed in the 8 years that I have known Dresden. Apparently, they'll still be working on finishing it until 2013. But I won't delay my visit until then.
Other things I plan to see and do:
-go eat at the Neustädter Diechl
-go to Kalaschnikow Galerie
-go to Bagel's
-go to Cafe Pott
-walk past Förstereistr. 13 and Alaunstr. 17
-have a Softeis if it's open
-go to Panama and visit the bunnies
-ring Hohlfeld's doorbell and imagine his face turning bright red
-go to the Chicsaal
-of course visit my friends (that should really be first on the list)
-go past the Schwalbennest and remember nearly being run over there, and better yet, remember my revenge
...

